Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmtree3
Unfortunately Im afraid Im not good at making friends :/ As you probably already noticed english is not my first language.I dont have any problems at all talking to strangers or people i just met in my native language.But whenever Im around new people here in Canada I dont even wanna talk a word to them cause Im constantly afraid of making mistakes in grammar or vocabulary and would be so ashamed of it.
I just read some articles about the borderline disorder. I actually think that I might have that.For example today my boyfriend told me he wants to go to a hockey game with his friends and i immediately got that "feeling" in my chest/stomach again.After I told him i dont want him to go but he was still considering it i felt sick and actually threw up.The thought of him having fun with his friends(and FEMALE "friends" will come too) spending the day with him made me sooo jealous.So jealous that i literally got sick.
Im afraid talking to my bf about this again as im scared that hell think im "mental"... :/
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If it gets to the point of your quickly developing severe anxiety symptoms (=your chest/stomach sensations and feeling like you were ready to throw up), yes, it is "mental".
Borderline personality disorder, as all personality disorders, is a diagnosis that is only given to adults. I am not sure what the age cutoff is, but you have to be an adult, because personality keeps developing through your teen years. How old are you? You might be too young for a full-blown borderline disorder. But yes, jealousy and BPD do often co-exist.
You surprised me saying that ENGLISH is not your native language. I did not notice mistakes in your posts, and I DO notice mistakes. I cannot help noticing mistakes. Although I am not a native speaker either, I have been speaking English for decades and I used to teach English as a foreign language, as well as TOEFL, SAT (English and Math), and GMAT (all parts including sentence correction in English). I am wired to notice mistakes. They jump at me. So
if you were able to fool me, you are absolutely fine and should not doubt your abilities. Do not even think for a second about initiating conversations in English - you will do very well, please, just venture ahead!
And let us know how you are doing. Making new friends and speaking in English with confidence will both be very good for your mental health.