Hmm...idk how to describe it I guess. There's just a camaraderie here that I don't feel like share in. I don't think I'm shunned or anything, but I also don't think I'm part of the group.

I won't lie. The really, really selfish part of me...the part of me I am trying to change would want a reaction where I am the most liked and respected person on the board. But there is a bigger, broader aspect to this too.

I really tried to make sure I wasn't starting this thread as like a ploy for attention; that my intention is genuine self-discovery. But I just don't know.