(((((Button)))))),
I am sorry this is so painful for you It must be difficult to realize that you are attached and also to realize that your T's boundaries are loose. It sounds like you want firm boundaries? But to ask for them, that would end the illusion that T could be a parent and could fill the emptiness. It sounds like this is a difficult situation. What do you plan to do about this? Are you going to talk to T about it? I feel for you, and I know you will work through this in time, although it may not feel like it right now.

In the meantime sending you tons of hugs and peace. Take care of YOU.