Thread: Friends w/ T
View Single Post
 
Old Jan 31, 2013, 10:48 PM
Syra Syra is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon View Post
I've always thought my T is a very interesting person, and that if we'd met outside of the therapist-client relationship, that she'd make a great friend. That said...I need her as my T, not as my friend. I would feel very uncomfortable with a dual relationship with T. I think it would be difficult for both the T and client to separate friendship and therapy. I mean, if you scheduled an appointment for a therapy session, then you'd want to do actual therapy at that time, not chit-chat. But, if you were going out to dinner or shopping or a movie with the T as a friend...how do you stop that from becoming an impromptu session as well? Part of friendship is sharing things that are going on in your life...you'd have to be careful not to take advantage of spending time with your T to get in extra therapy sessions. The therapist would have to be careful not to offer therapeutic advice during the "friend" times.

I suppose it's possible, but I think it would be very hard on both the T and client, and is a risky situation.

As I'm typing this, I find myself trying to imagine how it would work to be both friends and a client with my T...and I just can't see it. It would feel so awkward to me to go to a session and talk about my deepest thoughts, secrets, fears, etc. Then...say a few days later, go out to lunch or something, and have a light, casual conversation. It just wouldn't work for me. I'd either become hesitant about sharing things in session, for fear it would spill over in to the friendship, or I'd become hesitant about spending time as friends, for fear it would become a mini session.
I've found a few professionals in my life, a couple of them T, that I thought I would very much like as a neighbor (But I doubt I would have gone to them if they were my neighbor. Ick.), or friend, or community member.
I'm not sure how the people who I've heard talk about being friends with clients/therapists pull it off. I wish I understood the experience better (without actually wanting to actually try it for all the reasons you and others have mentioned.)