I know what you mean about not fitting into a group. I have felt that way about almost every group I'm a part of. The interesting thing is that I find a lot of people feel this way, even if I might think they are part of the "in crowd", whoever that is. I have come to feel that maybe that is just part of the function of groups, even internet groups like this one. Many people feel marginalized.

I've been part of a real life group at a knitting shop for many years now. I don't feel like a central part of that group and often feel left out in ways. On the other hand, when I had a crisis some months ago, I felt a tremendous outpouring of love and support for me. Now, crisis passed, I'm kind of back to feeling marginalized. What has helped me to engage with a group is to be okay with feeling marginalized and participating as my time and inclination suits me. Kind of like a way easier version of "feel the fear and do it anyway." Because I think if I waited around to find the perfect group where I felt perfectly a part of it, I'd never even try. So I go, and I talk, and I make attempts to help others or tell my silly little stories, or whatever. And that makes me part of the group, and that's enough.