After I killed my meth crazed BF I was stuck in 'why' and 'what if' for a very long time. My T told me NOT to use any self help books that help you to understand your problem and she said just do the healthy behaviors now and in time the emotions will follow. She was right. I still am confused about why things happened as they did at that time but I have moved on with my life, though I am forever changed by what has happened.

Not sure everyone is the same but that is my experience.