Well... I've been on Zoloft but went off after a year because it was making it worse, though it helped initially. Also tried some herb or something, but it didn't help. I really can't afford to see a doctor at all now, if it's not free, I can't do it. I used to talk with my pastor, but when I'm really bad he's afraid to try helping and tries referring me to a counselor - which went really bad when I went a couple years ago(bad situation with my mom, which resulted in a minor suicide attempt), and didn't work out to see someone a couple months ago when he tried again, when I had another mood plunge. I have some people around me who want to help, but don't know how bad it is, because I only bring it up without being asked if I'm entirely desperate. Too afraid... for lots of reasons I guess. And my parents/family... no... there's some sort of cancerous problem in my family - meaning it's not apparent at all, but definately there eating away. Not close with anyone.
I just really don't feel like I can do much of anything. Effort's a lot right now, and since nothing's worked before I'm not too positive about something helping now.