Still cycling. Less high today, more irritable. And then I was stupid and got myself into this somber, reflective mood. I need to stop analyzing every dark detail of my life in hopes of solving the mystery. I don't even know what mystery I'm trying to solve. Rumination never helped anybody.

I'm kind of scared. The two people that I have gotten close to here in Italy are going on weekend trips, leaving me alone. I realized that I need social interaction the same way I need food. Maybe I'll go to a coffee shop and talk to random strangers? But I'm not that brave.