After my session this week I am really mad with t. She talks non stop and often will not let me speak. This week I really opened up to her, I told her about some really difficult stuff that I haven't been able to talk about in the past.
I started by telling her about my body issues, how I hate myself and how I hate being me, I told her I hate being gay and I hate acting how I do and how I out so much pressure on myself.
She asked how its feels to be me so I tried to explain how I feel different, how I don't feel like I fit in anywhere and how people always call me weird.
I told her I hate my body, and how my ex rejected me and refused to have sex right affter we moved in together and how that made me feel. it made me hate my body more. I told her how my mother makes smart comments about me and my looks all the time. She basicallysaid I have choices, I can change the way I look, I can change the way I feel about myself and that I have choose to feel like this about myself.
I got so mad because I did not choose to be treated like that by my ex then cheated on, I did not choose to be gay, I did not choose to to have a mother who doesn't love me, I did not choose to be abused. T made me feel so much worse about myself. I am so mad at her. She told me there is nothing wrong with the way I look and that I am very attractive but I don't feel like that and never have.#I don't want to ever go back to her and I am going to text her and tell her I am done with this