T says "Night, come on through" and I go in and sit down and then she sits down. I've always struggled a lot with the talking, so usually my T has helped to lead me towards what I need to talk about. Recently she's told me she shouldn't have to "do so much of the work", and she "takes too much control". Then she started a few sessions by asking "so, what did you bring to work on today" and because previous sessions starting like that always ended up with her so angry with me, no matter how hard I tried and thought I was "working", I panicked each time she began like that. The last few times she's tended to ask "how are you" which I struggle to answer honestly, but I try. Often, in the past it would start more naturally, with us both talking, and that helped me get to where I needed to be. Still, sometimes now she'll help a bit by responding quite openly about things I've said. When I brought up an issue we've been having she told me she'd thought about it during the week and she realised she was being too reactive with me and quite defensive. So she does, if I'm lucky, still help me along in the beginning.

T usually glances, a rather subtle quick glance, at the clock, which I often catch, 2-5 minutes or so before the end, though never before then unless I ask about the time. T's clock has stopped working (last two sessions) and she was wearing a watch (she doesn't usually in sessions) and although I barely look at her anymore, I was looking up enough for just a few seconds to catch a very quick check of her watch a few minutes before the end. I've stopped wearing a watch myself and have decided not to think about the time ticking away. At the end T sort of says "okay" and gets out her diary to book my next appointment or she stands to get her receipt book.