It sounds like she was trying to be empowering, telling you you can change if you want. All the things you don't like about yourself you can either change or accept as part of you and be comfortable being you. (excluding the sexuality obv).
That being said her way of delivering that message was particularly clumsy. BUT, one good thing that came out of it is that you have learnt this ; "I did not choose to be treated like that by my ex then cheated on, I did not choose to be gay, I did not choose to to have a mother who doesn't love me, I did not choose to be abused."

These are good things to realise.