I don't know whether you can sign yourself into a psych unit all on your own in the UK ... but if it's at all like the US, please just take care of yourself. I doubt that health care is what it was a year ago anywhere--more and more, there doctors are at a distance from us. They work strict business hours, and we must depend on clinics and hospitals and each other for all the other times.

I've been in your place--I had an aging cat who was solely dependent on me, and for that reason alone suicide was out. I had to overcome the depression that was swallowing me whole. I called my friends for help, they decided it was beyond them, and they packed me off in an ambulance to a psych unit--I got to pick which one.

Turned out I'd been mis-diagnosed for decades, and I'm lots better now as a result of the hospital trip, etc.

Sometimes when "The Crisis" comes on a Friday night it's a way of putting us in touch with someone we need to be treated by. IDK. But you need professional help now. Grit your teeth, say a prayer, and make that call. Stay in touch, and we'll be here as much as you want.

Roadie