Hello Daybiday,

I agree with Leed.

It doesn't sound as though you've worked through the rape that you suffered. As a result, you find yourself holding back from your bf. A good guy that you can trust. then, you feel guilty. Around and around you go.

In my opinion, you need to step back physically from your bf and focus on working through your experience/s with a T (therapist). Hopefully, your bf will be willing to physically back off for a while ~ letting you focus on your health, and be there for you to lean on for emotional support.

Gentle hugs to you ~ take care...