Your T seemed to be saying exactly what I have heard from my T (I suspect it is a common T message). You can't change what has already happened. You can't change the events. But you CAN change how you react to and deal with where you are right now. That IS a choice.

What we don't like about that message is that what it means is that the thoughts we have about ourselves and our lives and our worth, etc. are within our power to change; we are often so "comfortable" with feeling helpless to our thoughts and feelings, but T's are right; we aren't helpless. We do have a choice NOW if we allow ourselves to see it and take the risk to make those changes. That's incredibly difficult to do. Our thinking about ourselves, our bodies, our lives is really very habitual, and like they say, "old habits are hard to break." That seems to be what therapy is about though.

Perhaps talking through this with your T might be a better action that running from the idea that you actually might have some control. Something to think about.