I am or have been narcissistic to some extent. One of the reasons is that I WAS special, the other reason was I felt like that somehow made me more deserving. You can feel more deserving with no talents and have talents without being narcissistic too, of course.

I grew up and sort of came in the hands of less intelligent people than myself that should teach or help me. It upset me. It actually is quite hard for a young person to be much more intelligent than people older, and also have creative talents other people lack. And in the middle of this mess the social norm was that I should look up to THEM!

I had a terrible problem looking down on people when I was young. So this thread feels a little too hostile towards people like myself for me to post, but I'll do it anyway.

Life has humbled me. My physical illness and part of the ADD have made my life dysfunctional. I have had to admit I'm a loser these days. I once had the chance to be something, but now I will just rot away and die. I still feel life is unfair for doing that to me, and sometimes I see it as a punishment from god for my pride.

Also I have actually learned as time went by, other qualities. I'm still quite clever even though benzo use ate like 20 IQ points, but I have a wider outlook and I have learned to appreciate other types of intelligence, and some of those I suck at. So I learned that even having talents, I suck at other things. That has humbled me.

I have also been broken by bullies, mostly in psychiatric care. I guess they thought I had to be broken into nothing. When you break a narcissist you end up with a big fat nothing, extreme self hatred for a while, anger and feelings of vengeance and a load of crap. You don't end up with a normal person... The crappiest thing is they broke me not for being narcissistic because I hid that, they broke me when I tried to be GOOD and FAIR and tell the truth...

Oh.. F this....

Anyway, I'm nothing similar to when I was say 25. I actually kind of long for the narcissistic attitude. I mean it's not totally gone, I can still feel really bad things when being "slighted", but for most parts I'm a freaking nice person.

I've sort of always realized that cooperation is more beneficial than competition so I have not really been a meanie or anything.

Still, pointing out narcissists as the bad ones.... the TRUE evil are passive bystanders. That is my opinion.

So yea... IDK. Whatever.