THAT IS STILL ABUSE!!! And, as I said, you can't save him--that's not your job. YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE! If he is treating you that way, HE IS a horrible person! One common factor in abusers is that they have moments when they are sweet, charming, etc, and that is why they get away with it for so long. YOu are an adult now, so there is no reason why you cant leave. Find a shelter, ask a friend to help you out or something--BUT GET OUT OF THERE! It is not up to you to get him help!!!! He has to do that for himself. Take that energy you're using to "save him," and instead use it to save yourself.