I know this is not what I would want to hear in your spot, but I think it's what I know I would need to hear: There is nothing anyone of us can really do to help you. It sounds like you are looking for permission to do something none of us will give you. Your pdoc had a good suggestion. While it may be embarrassing and such, it's an important thing to do. Paramedics don't judge. Hospital personnel don't judge. They are there to help. They will do so when called upon. There were many times I really did not want to go to the hospital, but it worked out in the end. If you don't feel comfortable calling the ambulance yourself, can you call the Samaritans and tell them what you have been feeling and what your doc suggested, and tell them you don't feel comfortable calling? they would probably help you out and make that call... you just need to take that step. There have been many, many times I was mortified by my state of being, but reached out because I had to, and I got the help I needed. Depression comes with crap. It includes a lack of motivation and strength to do even the simplest little things in life. It makes everything seem like you are trying to climb Everest with no harness and in your underwear... In short, IT SUCKS! But you are worth it. You know you need help. You are reaching out, but to the people that cannot really do anything through the screen...