I have just found a new therapist this last week who deals with addiction. I like him so far, but we have only had the intake appointment.

Not totally sure why February triggers me. I have some ideas. I it my birth month and that was never important to anyone. I was horribly abused on my birthday. The whole month just has a yuck feeling to it.

I reached out and made it through so far, but have not had as many cravings as I do now. I do like the idea of writing in a journal (although I hate doing it), but expressing the feelings or impulses I am having. Also, like drawing a body on a piece of paper and marking up the paper instead of me. It helps sometimes. Calling people is good but challenging, as I do not have any friends that deal with si at all. I have called hot lines, but feel I can't fully be real about what I am struggling with.
Although, they came me the idea to look up groups like this, so I am hopeful this will be a source of help as well.

I read the list of things I could do instead, but value more what people have really done that has helped.

Thank you Sannah and MdngtRain for responding.