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I met my boyfriend in March 2012 when his band started playing at my work. We met and became acquaintances. By May, we started talking and started to like each other. Coincidently, we were both nearing the end of our previous relationships. We they ended, we got serious. We have been dating almost 8 months now. The girl dated before me was almost a year. They broke up 5 times during that relationship. (Let’s call her Cal.) When he and I started dated, he would talk about how she never appreciated him, and that he never wanted her back because she was kind of crazy. And when I’d mention about him wanting her back, he’d tell me that it took everything just to get rid of her.
I had always had a suspicion of her intentions. Well, I busted them cheating on me in October. We broke up for a while, and then we decided to work things out. (Please don’t lecture me on this part, I already know the chances I’m taking.) I told him to block her number, block her on Facebook, and never to talk to her again. He’s still friends with all his Ex’s, and I’ve met them and they are awesome people. I don’t have a problem with them. Just Cal, because he cheated on me with her.
Well, she keeps showing up and the places he plays at and also his favorite bar, which I go with him to all the time. She just won’t stop! I am at my wits end! I don’t know what to do anymore. Either I beat her butt! (Which I don’t want to lower myself to that level) Or I leave him because I can’t take her showing up all the time trying to seduce him.
I have said something to him about her showing up and his gigs (he’s a musician). He had told her not to show up, but she still does it anyway. I have even told him I didn’t even want him to talk to her. But if she shows up they still say Hi to each other. It drives me crazy because I feel like that is letting her know that her actions are okay. When I try to explain this to him, he just tells me that he can’t control what she does and that she shows up. And I’m not moving on and I keep bringing up the past and that I shouldn’t let her see that it bothers me. Well, I feel like I can’t move on or heal if she keeps showing up everywhere. It does bother me, and I’m either going to blow up on her (which I do NOT want to lower myself to that level) or break up with him because I cannot take her showing up to his work or hangout places because I feel like she is playing a game. She knows that she got him once, and I feel like she thinks by keep showing up she can get him again.
I know that he is genuinely sorry and he really has done everything I have asked him. He has done everything he can to prove that to me. Everything I’ve told him to do, he has done. Except when Cal shows up at places and him not telling her to F**k off! That is the only thing that bothers me that I feel like I could trust him again if he would just do that for me. PLEASE HELP!!!
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