It sounds like she was trying to be empowering, telling you you can change if you want. All the things you don't like about yourself you can either change or accept as part of you and be comfortable being you. (excluding the sexuality obv).
That being said her way of delivering that message was particularly clumsy. BUT, one good thing that came out of it is that you have learnt this ; "I did not choose to be treated like that by my ex then cheated on, I did not choose to be gay, I did not choose to to have a mother who doesn't love me, I did not choose to be abused."

These are good things to realise.

Sounds like you're incredibly frustrated. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to see the deeper feelings that the frustration is covering....It seems that you pointed out all of the things you didn't choose - which are very important.

My T has mentioned something similar, along the lines of having the power to change or accept....and it was hard to hear. I felt embarrassed by the idea that I was to blame for my situation. That wasn't his intent. It was merely to point out that I have power - and it's very true. There were times when I was younger that I didn't have power and was hurt. I am not that child anymore. I can choose to be a victim or work towards integrating the experiences in a way that promotes greater health. We have choices. Accepting that sometimes is met with resistance, and that's worth exploring.

I, too, hate my body. I CAN choose to work on changing that. I tend to make excuses about my medical issues limiting my ability, or my life circumstances, etc. - but if I really make a strong effort, it can be done. So, why don't I do it? There's something stopping me, but I don't know what.

Perhaps it's something worth delving into further.

Maybe take a week or 2 off and then go back and tell her what you think about what happened? Many people here have gone back to talk about stuff like this and they cleared it up and it improved things.

It makes me sad that you hate your body. Dont succumb to that change nonsense. Just be yourself.
I find large women to be very attractive and it poses problems for me because I am a married female. Most of those women wouldnt have a clue that i am looking at them that way. But I long for them and dream about them.
I am completely flat chested but I dont care, and people have told me so, and I still dont care. Im cool with it. Its who I am.

Love yourself including your body, and your personality, and this allows others to love you. Its like an open door.
Im cheering for you!
Cyn

Your T seemed to be saying exactly what I have heard from my T (I suspect it is a common T message). You can't change what has already happened. You can't change the events. But you CAN change how you react to and deal with where you are right now. That IS a choice.

What we don't like about that message is that what it means is that the thoughts we have about ourselves and our lives and our worth, etc. are within our power to change; we are often so "comfortable" with feeling helpless to our thoughts and feelings, but T's are right; we aren't helpless. We do have a choice NOW if we allow ourselves to see it and take the risk to make those changes. That's incredibly difficult to do. Our thinking about ourselves, our bodies, our lives is really very habitual, and like they say, "old habits are hard to break." That seems to be what therapy is about though.

Perhaps talking through this with your T might be a better action that running from the idea that you actually might have some control. Something to think about.

Button, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I would agree with Sannah about taking a short break. I understand your feelings of wanting to give up therapy altogether but it doesn't sound like it is a good time for that. Sit back and breathe. This sounds like something that can be worked through