we are around 50 yrs old.
My close male friend/partner of last 9 yrs is obsessed with trying this yr to see if he can find someone ( else) to have a baby with . He loves me but has such pain re wanting a child of his own and re carrying on his family line. He has never been in a relationship besides me even though he is in his 50’s. He has asbergers ocd anxiety is pedantic and argumentative about many things. a relationship with me that we dont live together works ok . I feel the good far outweighs the bad. But he could never live with anyone peacefully due to his conditions.
I'm trying to have wisdom calm and not be reactive while he goes on his journey. He isn’t really thinking of whether his personality can cope with having a child and being in a live in relationship. He has ocd anxiety asberers is very pedantic and argumentative about many things. He is simply obsessed blindsided with the idea of having a child. He has met a younger woman and gone on an all day hike and now is going on an all day winery tour hoping to marry someone and have a baby.

He really cares about me and I really care about him. It's hard to be wise calm not reactive and know how to behave currently. Despite difficulties from his ocd anxiety asbergers pedanticness, I feel for myself that with him, in a non live in situation, his good outweighs his bad . We have so many good memories and can share so much good though his OCD anxiety Asbergers will always cause stresses.

I know that him trying to live with someone and have baby will cause involved alot of stress but she wouldn't realise it fast as he can present ok for a while and it takes time to see his ocd anxiety asberger argumentative stressful patterns . I knew he wouldn't date her fast and furiously as he has a lot of things he is doing currently, but she took the initiative and called him and organised a beautiful winery tour .

Its hard to know how to behave, if I should carry on a friendship as usual about other things still. I’m trying to be wise calm not reactive while he finds his way . Its not easy. I can't bear the thought of someone else with him, as he couldn't re me, but I also know he's sincerely not suited for the huge challenges of living with someone and a baby/child.

We have never committed to each other, him because he hoped to have a child, and me because it was hard getting used to him, although we mostly functioned like committed caring partners but without living together. We were free to date others though we each would have been tortured by the thought of the other with someone else, and we each were really quite focused on each other so any dating with anyone else was quite half hearted. DAting new people can be difficult time consuming and often not lead anywhere . WE really in practice were quite committed to each other.
It can be wise for me to do nothing just sit this out and carry on life and try to keep some friendship/communication between us like normal . We are being open and compassionate for the other. Its just all very difficult and I’m in shock also for the last 2 weeks since I found out, he told me he tries to be open with me, he loves me but is obsessed with wanting a child and to carry on his family line. although I understand but its so hard to navigate and know how to behave and stay calm compassionate wise.