Abby,

I know what you mean. I was beat up by bullies frequently when I was 6-8 years old, walking home from school. Emotional abuse by bullies hurts just as much as physical abuse, and it can get vicious. It wasn't until I had to write a paper about bullying for one of my classes that I realized how much impact the bullies had on my entire life. It was somewhere around that time that I lost my self-confidence and started being depressed. After that, I couldn't trust other kids - even when they were nice to me I was suspicious and thought they were teasing me. Sometimes they were, but I couldn't tell the difference anyway. And I also have resented, much more than the bullies, the adults who did nothing, and especially the ones whom I told what was going on, and that I felt like the entire world hated me, and who did nothing to help, and told me that the kids who were picking on me were just being kids and I shouldn't get upset about it.

There is so much that can be done to prevent children from being traumatized that way, but it's hard to get the needed programs put into effect. Mostly it involves training teachers to teach children to work together effectively, to understand their emotions, and to develop empathy. The teachers I had didn't consider any of that to be their job. In fact, 14 or 15 years ago I was taking an education class and the topic of social skills came up. I said that developing social skills was one of the most important things that teachers needed to help kids to develop, but pretty much the entire class, including the instructor, disagreed with me, saying that teachers don't have time to worry about that stuff, and it's the parents' job. Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't teach social skills very effectively, and that's getting worse. But teachers are being trained more and more in that area, and that's a good thing. I know that, but I still find myself being resentful that nobody cared when I was that age.

I'm glad that you were able to tell us about this and get it off your chest. It helps to find people who understand.

{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}},
Wendy

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>