i'm new to the group and this is my first post. i am 30 years old and have been suffering from depression for years. it's been getting increasingly worse over the past few years, and right now i feel like it's the worst it's ever been. i've been seeing a psychiatrist for 6 years and have been on medication for 10+. i tried therapy for a few years, but had to stop because of scheduling problems and a busy job. despite all of this, i am profoundly unhappy with my life. i'm hoping that reaching out here might help me in some way.

my biggest issue right now is poor sleep, excessive daytime fatigue, non-existent self-esteem, and binge eating/drinking. also, i routinely get up in the middle of the night and eat. doesn't matter what: chips, yogurt, cereal, anything...i've even made popcorn and frozen meals. because i have no energy and a job with chaotic hours, i rarely work out anymore. i was a collegiate athlete, so gaining 60+ pounds and becoming sedentary/obese is really hard for me to accept. i don't date and haven't had a relationship for almost 8 years. i have no friends, and when i'm not working i watch tv and sleep. i constantly worry about what others think of me. my concentration and memory have worsened. all of this has begun to affect my work performance, which is distressing because i am a physician. i focus almost entirely on my job, because i am so unhappy with my personal life. i am good at my job, but feel that i would be better and definitely happier if i could resolve some of my personal issues.

this isn't the way i thought my life would be going at this point. i have the job i've always wanted. i worked my *** off to get here. why am i so miserable? if anyone has any insight or shares similar problems, i'd love to hear from you. thanks