I feel sort of stupid writing this, I'm terrible at opening up to anyone, but I really need to say something to someone; 'cause I don't know what the hell's wrong with me.
Almost everyday I get this horrible empty feeling in my chest, I don't know what triggers it, or anything like that, I have o idea what it means. It can last anywhere between 5 mins and a couple of hours.
I'm also having issues with social things lately, not so much people I know well already, but anything to do with new people, I get worked up really easily, and usually end up in tears not wanting to leave the house, because I can't find anything to wear, and I look horrible etc.
I keep getting urges to self harm again, I managed to stop about a year and a half ago, but a couple of months ago I slipped a bit; not too badly, but I guess the severity of it isn't the issue...
I'm having more body image issues again too, I barely look at myself naked in the bathroom, because if I do I'll probably end up in tears, so I try not to. I'm feeling guilty eating again too, for a couple of years I had serious issues with my eating patterns, mostly not eating unless it was necessary, and eventually bulimia too; I was getting better, but the self hatred is back, bad, and I don't know what to do. The only time I ever brought it up with a Psych, they told me well it's obviously not too bad, so there was nothing to worry about; because I was a healthy weight.
It's really starting to worry my fiance, he gets so worried when he sees me down and can't do anything, but I don't know what to tell him.
God, I've rambled, and I sound like an idiot, but I guess I'll post it here anyway.
I hope this is an ok place to post this, I don't know where to put it, because it's a bit all over the place...