Hi, I just wanted to say that your not wasting by posting here. It can be tough trying to tell friends about depression. People that have never been through it or had experience with someone that has depression doesn't get it. It's a good thing that most people don't know what it is like, but for people like us that suffer from it, it is hard to reach out. I first starting feeling depressed in my teens, and when I reached out to my family they said to get over it. I found it helpful to talk to a psychologist. After struggling for a while, and attempted suicide a couple of times, I finally got some help. There are people out there that can help you manage all these feelings, there are also medications. I'm sorry your in so much pain. If it gives you any comfort just know that it isn't going to last forever. That is how I try to keep going. That and I have people I want to live for, even when I don't want to live. If your in college, some of them have counseling services, you can also go to your doctor to get a referral to someone that specializes in mental health. I hope you find some help and feel better.