(((indigo)))

You've already gotten some helpful and supportive responses to your post, but I just wanted to reassure you that you aren't sociopathic.

While you carry a lot of anger, resentment and hurt towards society that doesn't equal this personality disorder. My sister has AvPD, which falls under the same category as the one you're afraid that you may have. A very intense characteristic of the personality that can't be under-stated is the fact that they never question themselves or their behavior. They don't make truly close connections with others. They are terrific at pretending that they're emotionally involved, which captivates and holds onto the person that they want for that time. Before their friend or lover can figure things out, they are gone.

Their lives are nearly constantly spent searching for more. More money, more toys, more apologies, more. While they are unhappy with their position in life, they are absolutely against accepting any responsibility or blame for any wrongdoings they have EVER committed. Cheating, lying, stealing, blaming occur very often ~ with absolutely no guilt or shame felt.

From what I've read in your posts, you simply don't fit into this disorder...which is wonderful for you! Yes, you do carry a lot of dark emotions ~ they really need to be worked through to make your life more satisfying and a lot less painful. But, please don't torture yourself with the ideas that you are an "evil" person. Your friend is wrong. You aren't evil. You just need some professional help and perhaps a group support with others who struggle with similar issues.

Very best wishes to you...