This is a little triggering for me because my T has recently become my xT because I wanted too much. He terminated me because I didn't "get" the boundaries. I wanted more empathy, asked for it, and was made to feel like it was inappropriate or that I shouldn't need that from him. WTF? I, too, would feel like he wasn't "with" me if he was too calm, but then, that is his job and he can't get wrapped up in all his clients problems, right? Otherwise he would be a mess. It's just a weird, weird relationship.