yes what you say is true
today he went on an all day outing and i was so devastated all day though trying to be calm. I was reading how people felt similarly devastated if their husband cheated, though he is not cheating he is open and he adores me but the issue is he also has pain about wanting a child

I think about having one, but no i'm done long ago. i love quiet. i know what it entails and never want to do it again. I've got grandkids who need attention. Also i never would want to do it with him much as i dont want to lose him and i want him to be happy because seriously he gets very crazy difficult it just couldnt happen peacefully with anyone.

I am very happy now as i spent the last few hours with him and that relaxed both of us. but he is totally fixated currently on hoping it works with this girl to have a child and by the sounds it going ok but they havent kissed or had sex. He is very open with me. Its a strange situation that we love each other but he wants a child so we are open and i try not to make it hard for him as he doesnt want to hurt me but he is in pain.

I do hope it doesnt work out with someone else but i'd have to cross that bridge if i came to it. It would be very hard for me to move onto someone else after 9 yaers and i dont trust people easily, i'm not naive, and i dont trust people around my gorgious daughters and granddaughters.

You are right in saying that although i want him for the moment, that for comfort when i'm devastated like on days that they actually date, that i should go out with other guys. Its tough though as i cant hide the fact that i like him so guys always feel like he is in the room. But i do need an arm around me or some soothing company when i'm so distraught like today and like last date day also there have been 2 full day dates so far. Its incredibly devastating for me like i cant describe.