Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
Ah yes, you make a very good point here. My T tells me that sometimes it's hard for him to know what I need at a given time. So, he tells me that it's ok if I stop him in mid conversation and tell him that I need something different from him. He can switch modes. It feels kinda awkward but it does make sense.
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You have a great t MUE, This is a great idea. I don't know how open my t would be to it as she talks so much as it is and I can barely get a word in as it is. I think maybe this was my fault as I didn't TELL her what I needed so how could she have known. T wants me to paint a picture for her this week, so I won't get to tell her. I think realistically she knows how much pain I am in but she is trying to empower me so I won't fall apart on her again in session because the last five sessions have been me falling apart and breaking down sobbing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anilam
I'm no expert but re that body issue- I hated my body when it was fat/thin/normal/muscular...No external change could make me change the way I feel about myself- now I think (hope) that it can come from within (i.e. changing the way I relate to my body, stop blaming it and punishing it for what had happened...).
I actually had a T who told me that I'd be happier if I loose some weight (I wasn't fat, kind of normal, but I commented on how I hate my body) So I took that advice and became thinner and thinner expecting to be happier and happier- well, we all know where that ends:-/
So please don't believe anyone telling you that you need to change yourself in order to love/like yourself. You can love your body no matter the shape and when you truly love it you want it to be healthy and treat it well.  |
Hi Anilam,
Thank you for your post
Sorry you had to learn the hard way that losing weight doesn't hep you love yourself more. I too had to learn the hard way. I have never been over weight but always thought I am so I lost a lot of weight and became anorexic and I still hated my body and like you it didn't change the way I felt.
It is more to do with the abuse in regards to why I hate myself. I don't know how to fix me and I wanted t to fix me but it is not her job to fix me. I don't know how to love me and when she says things about me never being loved or not having anyone to love me it hurts.