so I'm not even gonna' write this I didn't even write that!

my brain is so thrashed it doesn't notice the diversity of people like they are having their own experience..it only notices that I don't relate and this gives me a freaking headache but I didn't write that!

it's so necessary to keep things inside and keep fear close far away from where it starts where others are and I didn't write that either!

did I write I don't relate?...well if I did then I didn't write that!

it seems to me I'm a dumb puppet a broken prop in a bigger show and everyone else gets it and I resent the crap outa' that!....and I don't remember writing that!

just watch me not write some more stuff...

I want it to be that everyone is me and I'm everyone else cos everyone else being not me proves I'm really freaking out all alone!....and there is no damn way I would have written that!

I need to change everything about me so that I can see through the eyes of the aliens around me and then I gotta' suddenly be them and I believe inside that they hate me and that I hate me too then I'm totally screwed with that option...and I couldn't have written that cos I cut my fingertips off at my hands at my arms off at my head!

and they write anyway