Hi there

Sorry you're experiencing this with t. It sounds very hard.

Some therapists do this because they feel it gives the client feedback on how they are experienced by another person. This can be helpful because some clients struggle in relationships and might not be aware of how they are coming across.

However, as you know it's not always helpful because it can cause the client to feel very bad as a person. I've experienced the same with my T and was left feeling terrible and as if my t was only focussed on herself. I told my t how this left me feeling which helped but it was very hard to do. Could you be honest with your t about this?

Sometimes I wonder whether it's simply an excuse for the t to let their feelings into the room. Not saying that's the case with either yours or my t, but sometimes it turns into a power game.

It also frustrates me because ts don't seem to realise that how the client is with them isn't necessarily how they are with everyone else. Therapy is supposed to be a safe space to not have to worry about/protect the t!

I'd really recommend telling t how negative this has left you feeling. This is a sensitive issue for me and I really appreciate how horrid it is. I think therapists need to be more aware of giving disclosures like these and the impact they can have.

Sorry I just realised you have terminated with your t! Apologises I didn't see that bit. I hope this post has been helpful. I do think from what you've said that your T took the 'giving feedback' idea way too far and was inappropriate in what he said.