I think when Ts are invested in the relationship, it is more likely that a countertransference is also active. I'm not thinking about a T's unresolved issue, but rather the feelings that the relationship itself brings forth.

This can be good because it allows a deepening of the relationship. But it does require that the T be up to the task of managing what can be a more powerfully present relationship (either on the T's part, and/or on the client's transference part)--or be willing to seek supervision of the process.

I just think many Ts aren't up to it, and unfortunately, clients then bear the burden. I'm sorry you got caught in this.

I had this sort of relationship in therapy, but my T had a lot of experience supervising other Ts, so he was able to bring it into the room in a way that was ultimately helpful to me rather than hurtful.

Do you have a new T that you've been able to talk about this with?