What you have described is the majority of my mixed/manic episodes. The land was described to me by a pdoc is that the agitation and aggressive feelings and feelings of self harm are depressive side of the mania , where the willingness to act on it is the manic side of the mania, it is also called dysphoric mania.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this at this of time, hopefully with your doctor you can get this under control.

The Wolf