I know how you feel. I used to self harm. I stopped when I met someone. I felt too much shame and guilt to keep doing it, and I know they wouldn't get it. I'm now married to this person, and we never really talked about it. I told her once and she could tell I was very uncomfortable talking about it. I think she accepted it was something I did in the past and left it alone. I know if I did it now she would flip out and it would not be very healthy for my marriage. That is why I don't do it. I know I should not do it for myself, but I never learned how to like myself. Maybe that is why I found it so easy to self harm. I still get the urges when I'm depressed. I don't think they will ever go away, I just have to be strong and fight them. I wish I had better advice, but this is my experience with it. Therapy might help. I need to get back into. When I was younger I talked to a psychologist about it and that helped.