I think that being able to hear negative feedback about yourself and/or how your behavior affects others is an important interpersonal skill. I think it's important because in the course of relationships, honesty and genuineness and openness requires at least a basic ability to tell others how you really feel or how they impact you, as well as allow others to tell you the same.

That doesn't mean that every time a T does this, it's therapeutic. Sometimes it is hard to figure out whether what you're hearing is upsetting because it's your issue or if it's how the message is delivered by the T. Or because it wasn't the right time or a thousand other reasons. So I guess my perspective would be that I support the idea of T (or anyone) offering negative feedback in a reasonably sensitive manner, but that it can also be bungled. The client's job, at least in part, is to figure out how you can do a better job accepting the negative feedback, while also feeling free to tell the therapist how they affected you negatively.

If I could change one thing about my H, it would be his willingness to listen to negative feedback. Over the years, I've tried being more sensitive in my wording choice, tone, timing, and not much has worked. I've also tried just not saying anything, and that definitely doesn't work for me. He's just super sensitive to anything that even smacks in the neighborhood of negative. He's a really good person and has a lot of positive qualities, but his fragility in this way is an obstacle to honest communication. At the same time, I think that I am overly critical, so I could stand to tone it down a lot of time. But I guess my bottom line to you is that I think that all of us could benefit from being able to listen and be more accepting of people telling us what we don't want to hear. Even if you dismiss it as being the other person's issue, thoughtful consideration and openminded listening is better than angry or upset dismissal.