I definitely agree that counter transference is a factor because my T has changed as time has gone on - she takes more risks with me, some which pay off and some which really don't. She's loosened up a lot and become more herself.

I react badly when someone tells me how I made them feel. I become defensive and feel criticised. Not sure if that's just me but does show me how important it is that the T is in tune with the client before making such an approach. When it's done insensitively it can spell the end of a good t relationship. When done well it could potentially be very healing. I think the t needs to be really aware that his or her own issues might be spilling over before deciding to disclose an emotional reaction to the client.