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Feb 03, 2013, 12:41 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyzero
Thank you so much for your words.
To ring for an ambulance would be a tad dramatic though. There's no way of getting to a hospital on my own. I feel too weak, honestly, to stand in a shower, even, simply due to sparodic eating and huge lethargy. I look like a tramp and am aware of that, some previous comments above about my hygiene, are not relevant or helpful.
I've been awake all night and at 5am gone now, I can just turn over and try to sleep away today. Then comes tomorrow.
Yes I pray, hard, but he doesn't listen.
Thank you for your post.
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What I see is that you are not recognizing that your prayers are being answered. If you "realize" that you need help and can see the predicament you are in, then that is a good sign. It is when someone "can't" see it and just continues to decend, that is something to be concerned about.
When Constantine decided to make Christianity the main religion that was attached to how he wanted to "rule", he had the Bible put together in a way that left out some important messages. He wanted people to think about prayers being answer from "external" ways. He didn't want the citizens to think about their own connection with God.
What was left out is that we all have the ability to develope our own connection, that we all carry that "within". We must all learn to "know thyself" and understand how we can "individually empower" ourselves.
When you began to recognize your true condition, that was an important starting point. Even your fear is important because you are "more aware" of the way you have perhaps unknowingly decended.
Instead of being "frightened", you need to now keep moving "forward" and commit to recognizing your condition and begin the path to getting therapy and help so that you can learn how to slowly take over your own path to healing and gaining.
You began to take over, fed yourself and tried to shower. While you tried to shower, yes, you noticed that you were weak from malnourishment along with being in bed and inactive for so long that your bloodflow is not "normal", not getting to your brain because of how you have been so sedimentary for how long? a year?.
You have to access this as calmly as you can ok? Think about how long it took for you to get this weak/bad, well, in order for you to make gains, you are going to have to work on increasing your mobility and nourishment slowly. As you work on this, your sense of personal spirt will begin to lift from the weight of how you did not take care of yourself that has led you to the condition you are in.
The journey to healing the mind/soul/body has to begin with the awareness of where you are, then you have to begin the commitment to healing.
A therapist coming out to your home? What can that do? It can't change the fact that you have allowed yourself unknowingly to grow weak in mind/soul/body. A therapist can only tell you what you already know and are recognizing. And the fact that you don't think an ambulence is in order, means that perhaps you can work on gaining some energy to find a way to get yourself to a place where you can finally begin your journey to healing.
I understand the "fear" but it is needed so that you recognize that you need to now take some steps to healing.
My advice is that while you are recognizing your condition, that you make sure you don't look at it and think your only direction is to decend, because that is not true. That is not what this recognition means at all. Instead it means your prayers are being answered, and now that you do see it, you are ready to finally "heal". You can begin to take the steps to "saving yourself".
Open Eyes
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