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Feb 03, 2013, 12:54 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: California
Posts: 2,248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
If both parties are in agreement that this [disapproval and judgement from T to client] is happening, then that is a good thing. If one person is hearing disapproval or the like and insists that s/he knows what the other person is communicating, that's a problem, in or out of therapy.
I don't think I've ever heard negative feedback or criticism from any of my T's. I am far more self critical than anyone could ever be of me. My T's have all attempted to promote self acceptance and greater kindness towards myself. But outside T, being self critical makes it a lot easier to hear negative stuff from the people in my life; it's as if I've had lots of practice saying way more negative things to myself, the negative messages from others can sometimes be a reprieve.
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You're right. If one person is hearing disapproval and insists they know what hte other person is communicating, it's a problem. And that includes if the therapist thinks they know what the client is communicating. Further, if one person thinks it's happening and the other says "no, and I don't want to talk about it" it's a problem too. I didn't think it was appropriate to repeat my whole story in order to make my point. I'm comfortable in my assessment that my former Ts judgements were from her issues, and not mine, and that it is incredibly painful experience.
I'm glad for you that you have never heard negative feedback or criticism from any of your T's. I'm not sure how that relates to other people hearing judgement from their Ts. I don't think you meant to imply that it doesn't happen?
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