I was diagnosed as bi-polar II about five years ago. I was misdiagnosed as plain ol' depressive for about 5 years before that. I was rapid cycling after a particularly stupid prescription of antidepressants, and crashed good and hard. Then I was on lithium for a couple of years, and I guess it worked but I hated hated hated hated hated it. It took everything away from me that made me me, and I don't like the person I'm left with.

So, I've been relatively stable for three years until a few weeks ago. I've been sliding down and now I'm sliding faster.

I feel empty and desperate. I can't see a way forward. I hate the sound of my voice, I hate my reflection. I haven't left the house in days.