I have always been like that too, and for me, I can think of a couple reasons that I have done stuff like this. I think a lot of times, for me, it was a huge fear of failure, and that if I quit something, it meant I failed it. No matter how bad that thing was for me. Turbulent friendships, ballet class, emotionally abusive relationships, my college major -- wow actually I really do do this a lot. Anyway some of those things bore fruit, but all required me to change in SOME way, or leave something behind, and to find a way to cope with a failure that wasn't even a failure. Sometimes with relationships, I think one component was sincerely feeling like it could be fixable, and I could not leave the possibility of the relationship becoming good behind. Or something like that. And definitely, there was also an undercurrent of questioning whether I deserved to be happier elsewhere.

No problem, don't mind answering. No specific event for me. In fact what's more perplexing is the my parents really went out of their way to make sure they did not make comments or anything like that that might cause me to hate my appearance. They really didn't want me to have those body issues. But they came anyway. I was a really scrawny kid, when I look back at photos, but I always saw fat. People TOLD me I was skinny but I still saw fat. I think that even though my parents made a gallant effort, the problem is, when someone is (1) depressed anyway and (2) pushed hard for perfection in other areas, that kind of lack of self-worth and inability to accept oneself bleeds into other aspects of life, and don't just stay in one place. And then, of course, the media does not help. Not at all. But I had these issues before I ever opened a Victoria's Secret catalog. What about you? Sounds like your mom did not have the same goals as my parents in that area

Whoa! What a terrible thing to say! How pessimistic. I remember when I was seriously getting ready to leave my husband, my T kept reminding me that I should not stay with him just because I didn't think there was anything else out there, and that I had plenty to offer and that it would not be the end. Goodness! You will most definitely find love again. It may require more time and work than feels possible right now, but love's out there. And as CE said above, you can certainly have a family without getting married to a man. There are SO many possibilities and I wish she would help you explore them.

I think it's a relatively good thing that your T is up front about the fact that she is out of her depth when it comes to issues of sexuality that aren't out of the box of husband/wife/babies. But, ouf. I mean, you are training to be a T -- you know the importance of empathy. Just because I'm not gay doesn't mean I don't relate to your issue of hating something about yourself that you can't change. So, it's rather disappointing that she isn't trying to find a way to feel your experience.

I'm really glad you're trying to get your power back, Button . Your ex certainly seems to have tried to take it from you, but it really is yours.

That's very kind of you! I'm glad what I said was helpful. I have realized, through my own therapy journey, that becoming a therapist might actually have been a good career track for me, and if I could tolerate the idea of more school, I might even go for it now. But, I have kept counseling in my mind as something I could pursue, maybe, if I ever become dissatisfied with my current career track. It's great to hear that it's not totally inconceivable!