Sometimes I feel like that when I'm in the waiting room. Like, what a weird thing I'm doing, sitting there waiting, just to sit in a chair across the room from another person and talk once a week. It happens sometimes when things aren't either really good or really bad and it just feels...like an odd thing to do and I'm not sure why I bother. I'm not sure that's exactly like what you're feeling, but I relate in some ways.