Hi PC Friends

I had to deactivate my account, but for those of you who have been my friends here, I wanted to come back and give an update...I will probably only be here for a short while.

My T is terminating therapy with me. I actually terminated with him a few weeks ago, but there was always an understanding that the door was open, and I was welcome to come back. That door is closing.

I have been overwhelmed with grief and confusion. I have moments of "okay", but mostly moments of "I'm not sure I'll survive"

But I'm sure I will survive.

I will see him two more times. Once to try to understand what's going on (we have only communicated through e-mails) and to plan how to have some closure that makes sense and honors what was good for all of these years. And then one last time for the actual, final, ending.

I feel heartbroken. I will find my way through. It's just so bad right now.