I told her I still had old anger about things that happened early in out relationship. I felt that she hadn’t supported me enough. I said I had rationalised it into thinking that she had supported me, but not in the way I wanted. Nevertheless, I could not see it.

One of the things I was angry about then and have still not come to terms with now is the Blank Slate.

Me: I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me you were married. It was a matter of public record. My wife worked it out by looking you up in the phone book. So what’s the point?

T: The point is that I gave you room to speculate on my marital status. To give you a straight answer would have killed that opportunity.

Me: Well I did speculate of your marital status. I wondered aloud if you were a lesbian or lived with two lovers, or something like that. But it didn’t lead anywhere, so what’s the point?

T: (Agitated) You never know in advance what might be important. You think I was holding out on you.

Me: Yes! Are you angry with me?

T: No. But I am surprised. You have such a good understanding of the theory behind psychodynamic psychotherapy.

Me: Just because I understand it doesn’t mean I believe in it. And my heart is dead against the blank slate. By refusing to answer my question you created a power struggle out of nothing!

T: (Ironic but not sarcastic) Oh! And like that’s never happened to you before in your whole life?

Me: Psychotherapy is the wrong shape and it will always be the wrong shape and I will never accept it.