Well, it's been six months since I ended my engagement due to his refusal to stop drinking. That wasn't the only issue...

There were a lot of sexual issues that I didn't discuss because I was so shocked by his sexual behavior.

It's graphic and embarrassing but here goes...

When we first started to sleep over at his house, he told me about how he likes to dress in women's clothes and I tried to keep an open mind. He bought so many women's clothes for himself, that my wardrobe was lacking compared to his. I did some research on transvestites and found the average amount of time a man spends dressed as a woman at home is 65 percent of the time. With him it was 100% of the time. He would make a big production everytime he got dressed and undressed to go out like it was some kind of ritual. He even slept in women's clothes!

He liked dark pantyhose... I thought he was just wearing them, but found out he was masterbating with cheap nylon pantyhose. He would rub himself raw doing it and big patches of skin would peel off of him. I would try and get it off him before he went inside me but wouldn't let me. So there I was thinking about these loose pieces of skin rubbing off inside me. I didn't say anything but I got really grossed out by it.

Sometimes I would get on top of him and he would be wearing his little girl nightgown and talk to me in a little girl voice and say "please don't hurt me". I was majorly freaking out. We were engaged so I tried to explain that a woman hearing a little girl's voice and being on top of someone wearing and little girl's nightgown was really sick.

We tried "doggie style" and I had to explain to a 55 year old man how to do it exactly and it only ended up with him actually laying and putting all his weight on my back...who does that.

One time I was staying up late and he wanted me to come cuddle with him and I told him I had to finish some work. He yelled my name and told me to come cuddle NOW! I asked him if someone asked him to come cuddle by being bossy would he? He said no.

Another time we got into an argument and I wanted to keep in productive and I just said "you've never learned how to talk to a woman even though you are 55 have you" he said no.

The worst thing that happened that broke the camel's back was when I got waxed (in-between the legs). I looked at him looking down at me and he had a look of disgust as though he was poking a half dead road kill animal baked in the sun. Now I am 50 and have had several partners and some said that I looked pretty there but no one has been cruel enough to show that look on their face while looking at my most intimate parts.

Although I have since said I can't handle someone who drinks, dresses up as a woman, doesn't know how to talk to a woman, demands that I cuddle when asking gently works just fine, and makes me feel ugly in the bedroom and doesn't know how to do different positions...the man is 55.

He also said that he was never asked to do forplay before and doesn't feel he should have to...the only places he touched my body ever was the breasts and between the legs... no caressing anywhere else.

Until I started staying at his house, he seemed fine believe it or not.

I can't get that look on his face out of my mind and it's been months...the one where he looked at my vulva like it was roadkill baked in the sun. You know I even asked my gyno to check it out and she said everything looked fine and clean and that I should have said something. Told her I did tell him, but he told me to be quiet and not talk about it. Everytime I talked about it bugging me, he told me to stop.

I also asked him why he never asked anything about me but always talked to me about him, he said he thought he was being rude if he asked about me.

How can a man turn out like this? It's like he's got brain damage. Just want some of my self esteem and rationality back in my life.

Anyone ever gone through any of this?