Hi Rose, Im not sure I know very much about to help you with this. As an outside observer Im picking up on a few things tho. One is that he is not being sensitive of you. Maybe its because his own pain is so large and present for him that he doesnt have the strength to see past it and acknowledge your own pain. Relationships work best when it is a two way street and it really sounds like yours is becoming one way traffic. Also, his kids might be so busy in their own lives they are narrow focusing and just hoping against hope that you can carry all the weight?

You must do something about your own depression. You are not Atlas, None of us are. Even in the best circumstances I believe when dealing with our aging health there comes a time when we have to admit we have done all we can for those we love and care for and health management has to be given to those professionally prepared in dealing with it. That doesnt decrease how much you care, just facing how much you can give.