I agree with Ladyzero. I do not believe you should see what happened as any reflection on you or any part of you. This guy has issues, big ones.

I can understand why you feel hurt, but this guy was a complete <insert expletive of choice>. Any man who treats his girlfriend in this way is not worth staying with.

As a 40-year old bloke who has had no luck with the ladies, it hurts me how a lot of men think it's right to treat their partners in this emotionally abusive way. You suggest your self-esteem and rationality has taken a hit. I can safely say you have acted perfectly rational - it's his rationality that's completely off the wall. As for your self-esteem, you should feel proud of yourself for getting rid of him.

Good luck. I hope that helps.