Occasionally, a thought pops into my head about whether or not T really gets it because he hasn't experienced it. And then, I realize that it's more about how I am frustrated, angry, resisting or disagreeing with him about something that spurs that thought.

For example, at the moment, he is telling me that my caretaking of my mother (who I rushed to the hospital a week ago, was in critical condition, etc.) at the hospital has been "extreme" - that it would be understandable if it were my child (it's our job as parents) but not my mother. Because I'm angry/frustrated/disagree with what he's saying, I thought to myself, "Well, he doesn't understand. His mom passed away when he was a child and he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad. So, how would he know what's understandable or not!"