I am not a professional. However, as a person who has struggled with mental illness for 15 years, I have some useful tips for people who want to help their mentally ill family member or friend. These tips are based on my own experience having a mental illness and the problems I've encountered when others try to "help."

If I could give advice to family and friends of mentally ill people, I would tell them if you want to help a depressed person, be empathetic, patient, and kind. Don't ignore the mental illness and pretend it doesn't exist. But don't try to solve it for the person either.

Make brief contact from time to time to let the ill person, and let them know they are loved. Send an occasional card, or make a brief phone call to let them know they are thought about. Invite the depressed person out for a meal or to movie. Don't feel slighted if they don't take you up on your offer. Depression is debilitating and people with it often feel exhausted. If you make an effort to encourage and they don't respond, don't give up. Just keep letting them know you care.

Don't criticize them or blame them for being ill!! Realize that mental illness is a real illness, just like heart disease or diabetes. You wouldn't criticize a heart patient, telling them to "stop having heart attacks! You could stop having them if you would just try harder!" So don't load a depressed persondown with blame and criticism when they are already feeling low and carrying a heavy burden. Don't add to the burden; help lift it with your kindness and empathy.

Above all, if you don't have mental health training, or a substantial amount of knowledge about mental illness, never try to play therapist or try to force that person to solve their depression the way you think they should. Instead, encourage them to get professional help from those trained to understand mental illness.

If you believe your family member or friend is suicidal and/or in danger, don't just ignore it and hope it will go away. Talk to them about it. Ask them if they have plans to end their life. Ask them if think they need to go to the hospital. It's best if you allow them to decide. But if you believe they are not capable of making a good decision because they are too depressed, and you think they are in true danger, take them to the hospital or call 911. They may be upset or angry about it, but it's better to be safe than sorry.