Wow ! To all above posts ! Thank you. I hadn't checked back as thought no one since I last posted here, had added to my reply.
If you've seen me about on other threads my d. got worse and worse, and hit rock bottom.
I accept all your advice.
Since I asked this question, I am petrified he will eventually book the escort, or find someone else.
For the last week however, he suddenly turned his back on me. No texts, no calls. Ignoring my pleas, tearful voicemails, and probably 100 texts in a week. No explanation, although he warned me, he would give up on me and my broken dates.
I even texted, asking for him to tell me simply to go away and leave him alone, and I would. I want closure, if that's what it is. He is a huge sulker, and did this once before. Nothing touches his heart with pleading for contact. I had to yesterday contact his sister to enquire if he was alive, as I was worried to the point of feeling sick. He's fine. So his behaviour is even more hurtful.
He says he cares, about me, how does his actions show that ? Feelings don't go away in a week, to then want to hurt someone.
I can't stop texting him, and will my phone to ping with a reply.
So the sex thing isn't really a concern at the moment, but I miss it too.
I want to feel skin, touch, hug, kiss, and make love, have gentle sex, wild sex, and get laid, but with HIM !
So here I am, waiting for and if he ever does reply.
I wanted to see him, and him me, but not for him to use me for just sex.
Here I am now, wanting to hate him, for turning away, and ignoring my pleas . Now he won't even acknowledge me. I know I cocked up, but if he truly cares about me, would he do this ?