It's hard. Really really hard. The fact that you feel something is probably a good sign that you had strong feelings for him.

The way I see it is (based on my experience with love, divorce, and loss) is that relationships are organic. As much as we wish we could just pretend it didn't happen or wish you had done things differently, you can't. Relationships have their own way of working out, no matter how much you wish they had a different resolution.

You have to just put those memories and feelings into a little box, or sorts, and file it away for the time being. Know that it's okay to feel hurt, betrayed, or whatever your feelings are. They are laid, bc YOU feel them. Is also okay to mourn the loss of what you had.

I have been divorced for three years now and it still hurts. I drive by his work place and still think of him...I had a dream last night that I confronted his now wife about her cheating on him while he was with me. It sounds and probably still feels really raw to me, but it has made me who I am today, for the good and the bad. I do wish I could forget some things, but life just doesn't work that way. I file those memories away as an experience that was, and will always be, part of my life.